Saturday, January 3, 2009

Tonight

Tonight is my last night with kids before they go to Grannys for a couple weeks. They are tucked in bed now, but we crammed in some fun time tonight. A couple weeks ago we got a gingerbread house to make but it was pretty much demolished by a 3 year old before we ever got to decorate it. The icing was just too tempting and in the process of trying to eat the dried icing, the whole thing was broken. After Christmas I found one for $2.00 and thought we'd give it another try. It was a success. Obviously decorated mostly by a 3 year old but beautiful none the less.


What's interesting are his windows. Ummm....remind you of anything.

I guess the interest starts early in boys. :)
We had a nice night. I'm feeling a little melancholy. When I was playing trains with my son, I cried. Watching my daughter give my hubby kisses, I cried. I can't help thinking, What if something happens to me? What if tomorrow is the last time my children see me? I know the odds are so slim that anything will happen during surgery, but you can't help but wonder. Honestly, I'm not as worried about dying as I'm worried about the impact on my family. Because if I die, I'll be in Heaven. I won't know the pain they are going through. So I'm scared for them. Have you ever thought about the letters you would write your loved ones if you knew you were dying? My situation is different because I don't know I'm dying. I'm probably not going to. In two weeks I'll probably be on here blogging about how stupid I was for being so depressing. But still....I will be writing the letters. And I hope to come home from the hospital and put those letters away and laugh about it. But just in case, I want to write them.
Thanks to AmyB for giving me the encouragement, through her blogging, to Keep it Real!

8 comments:

Kelly said...

We found a really cheap gingerbread train we are going to attempt. It usually only stays intact at my house for a couple of days at best!! yummy!! Yours looks great and yummy!

Aimee said...

Shannon, my heart breaks for you. I can only imagine every sceane you have played out in your head...All I know is the God you serve, we serve, will be the same God you wake up to after surgery. I know that your children are children of the most high King...Hey you can't go wrong with that! I know that weeping may endure for a night, BUT JOY comes in the morning...you are beautifully and wonderfully made...blessing on you and your famiy. You can betcha I will be praying. Please at least let someone post how surgery went!

McCrakensx4 said...

Praying that all goes well. And the house looks great!

He And Me + 3 said...

I wrote those same letters a couple of years ago when I went in for surgery for my Thyroid Cancer. I just wanted to be sure I had everything covered. I know what you are going through but at a lower scale. They were hard to write, but so glad I did...Beautiful house too!

Davisix said...

Shannon, this post made my eyes tear up and made my heart ache. Everything is going to be fine and you are going to be coming over for that big juicy steak when you get up and moving. You are such a great person and I am SO glad that we friends. Please have your man blog for us. We need to know how you are. Love you! Ang

Kelly said...

Still praying for you!

Keyona said...

Oh dear, I'll be praying for you and hope to hear about your recovery because you WILL be fine okay? Okay.

Florida Girl said...

Shannon, my son was afraid tonight when I tucked him in so I read him a story. It was the one of the storm that overcame Jesus & the disciples in the boat & they were scared. Jesus asked them why they were afraid when he was there. Yes, being afraid is a natural emotion, & my greatest fear would also be of my family if I was gone. I know that it does not change the reality of the "storms" in this life, but He does tell us not to be afraid. He is hovering over your husband & children just as he will be hovering over you in the surgery room. Big, & mighty, & capable of taming the storm; & loving & tender enough to shelter our children.
I know you will be nervous- as a mom & wife you can't help but think those things- & I also know you know the strength & love of God; but in these next few days, do allow God give you that "peace that passes understanding". He will give you that peace.
I LOVE YOU!! I will definitely be praying for you. Jessica